“…and today we’re talking about something that I’ve sworn we’ve done before but I guess we haven’t. But more on that later.”
Deep in the inky abyss where sunlight dares not shine, lurks a creature that’s equal parts nightmarish and misunderstood—like that hipster kid from high school who just listens to bands you’ve never heard of. The vampire squid, with its shadowy cloak and otherworldly glow, has perfected the art of staying spooky. But beneath its Dracula cape lies a trick that might just turn your world upside down. It’s all about staying alive and staying scary here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
Description
- It has a gelatinous body that is typically dark red to black, with large, bioluminescent eyes that can glow blue or red.
- Its arms are connected by webbing, giving it the appearance of a cape.
- The underside of its arms has rows of fleshy spines called cirri.
Measure up
Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at gmail dot com. We don’t have a new Measure Up intro!
Length
28 cm (11 inches)
- 8 sewing needles
- 53,568 go into the diameter of Deimos
- 112 grains of rice
Weight
0.4 kilos (1 pound)
- 1,091 go into a colossal squid
- 45 go into a male doberman pincher
- 250 million go into the Symphony of the Seas cruise ship
Fast facts
- Living Fossil: It’s considered a living fossil, as it’s the only surviving member of its order, Vampyromorphida.
- Deep-Sea Dweller: Found at depths ranging from 2,000 to 3,000 feet (600 to 900 meters), where sunlight barely reaches.
- Diet: Unlike its name suggests, it feeds on marine snow (detritus falling from above) rather than hunting live prey.
- Defense Mechanism: Instead of ink, it releases a bioluminescent mucus cloud to confuse predators.
Major Fact
- The vampire squid can turn itself inside out, flipping its cape-like web over its head.
- This defensive move reveals spiny appendages, making it less appetizing to predators.
- The “inside-out” act helps confuse attackers, giving the squid time to escape.
- Instead of ink, it releases bioluminescent mucus, dazzling would-be enemies.
- The creature folds into a “pineapple” shape when it inverts, tucking in vulnerable parts.
- This dramatic display may only last a few seconds, but it’s usually long enough to buy an exit.
- The maneuver is designed to protect the soft body while showing off its menacing spikes.
- Unlike its vampiric name suggests, it doesn’t feed on blood—it’s more of a detritivore.
- Despite its fearsome look, the vampire squid’s defenses are all about avoiding fights.
- The inside-out trick helps it survive in deep-sea environments where it must be both predator and prey.
The vampire squid is the only cephalopod able to live its entire life cycle in the Oxygen Minimum Zone, at oxygen saturations as low as 3%. Blood transports oxygen more effectively using large gills. Doesn’t do a lot of moving and stays suspended using balancing organs similar to our inner ears. This keeps it safe from predators that need a lot of oxygen.
Ending: So lurk in the deep, hold your breath, and turn yourself out like a sock straight out of the dryer like the vampire squid here in LDT.