Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we’re talking about a pileated pile driver. But more on that later.”

Somewhere deep in the forest, a feathered jackhammer slaves away to fill all the trees with holes. The pileated woodpecker attacks hardwood with its whole face and somehow strolls away from repeated headfirst collisions with nary a scratch, let alone constant concussions. It’s a biological engineering marvel with a mohawk. But sometimes you have to have special headgear to be a woodland wrecking ball like the Pileated Woodpecker here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and now we’re talking to high quality bird brains. But more on that later.”

What does the crow know? 

Accounts, it does not grow. 

Seeds, it does not sow. 

But knowing it will show.

When life asks the crow…

To think to earn its dough.

The new caledonian crow may be among the smartest birds in the animal kingdom… even showing talents we once thought were an exclusive part of the human Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bug that is a scientific instrument… but more on that later.”

In the sticky stillness of a summer night, a tiny troubadour tunes up in the trees. This pale, unassuming performer doesn’t just chirp—it engineers, improvises, and even has custom acoustics. This backyard busker sings its love song using some unorthodox methods. But if you’ve ever lived in a big family, you know you have to find a way to make yourself heard like the Thermometer Cricket here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a frog with a funny name that we’re going to be mature about! But more on that eminently.”

A special frog lives at the bottom of a lake on top of the world… Lake Titicaca is the highest navigable waterway on earth, and it’s home to an amphibian that’s gone full aqua! But how does a creature with lungs never come up for air? Well… answers are rarely only skin deep in Life, Death and Taxonomy. 

“..and today we’re talking about a fat baby sea bird. But more on that later.”

Out on the icy oceans of the Arctic, the Northern Fulmar floats above the waves—calm, collected, and carrying a concealed weapons permit. This bird doesn’t bluff, doesn’t bluster, and certainly doesn’t believe in backing down. Instead, it leans into a peculiar brand of defense that’s equal parts disgusting and disturbingly effective. Think less “fight or flight” and more “fight with… fluids.” It’s a slick, sinister solution to survival. But I guess war crimes don’t matter to animals like the Northern Fulmar here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a Lazerus noodle. But more on that later.”

The worst thing that can happen to a species is extinction. The balance of life and death tips towards oblivion… a corner of creation relegated to rejoin the dust. People are often the problem…but we’re getting better at finding solutions. One small wild ferret was on the brink of disaster until it was astonishingly restored to the cycle of Life, Death, and Taxonomy. 

“…and today we’re talking about a bug adoption. But more on that later.”

The insect world is a terrifying one. It’s a bug-eat-bug world out there. Some deal with it by being bigger, faster, stronger, or more numerous. Others have subtler ways of staying alive. The Mountain Alcon Blue caterpillar dons a clever disguise, not to trick the eyes but rather the heart and soul of its enemies; turning would-be predators into loyal subjects. But sometimes you just gotta know how to work the room like the Mountain Alcon Blue here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about danger from above. But more on that later.”

In the African rainforest lives the King of Trees, gliding along the canopy, seeking prey in his sky domain. His crown is slight, but not his bite. One peck sends his subjects into an eternal slumber. Leave the ground to his cobra kin… Where the competition is fierce and enemies abound. But up here in the tree tops is the perfect place for Goldie’s Tree Cobra to make a Life Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about an insect that doesn’t stay in its lane. But more on that later.”

Squirming the soil of a windswept island, lurks a many-legged menace with a taste that…raises eyebrows. It’s a wriggling, writhing ribbon of ruthless efficiency, equal parts nightmare noodle and avian scourge. While most creepy crawlies shy away from winged terrors, the Phillip Island Centipede turns the tables on them. But sometimes, the hunter must become the hunted here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bug that is a real jokester. But more on that now.” 

Suggestion from Rowan via email

The harlequin cockroach is a little like the bus boy at an underground speakeasy. It clears a low bar. This brilliant bug is striking for its mottled pattern and interesting hues… for a creature in class that inspires revulsion in the humans that behold them. But just because your kin are drab dressers, doesn’t mean you can’t be the prettiest roach in Life Death and Taxonomy.