Life, Death, and Taxonomy
“…and today we’re talking about a fish that enjoys working at the carwash. More on that later.”
When you run a lucrative maritime cleaning service, you gotta protect your turf. The dominant bluestreak cleaner wrasse defends its territory, its business, and its family on a daily basis. But when the don disappears, it’s up to one of his leading ladies to fill his shoes. But being willing to fill any role is part of surviving here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
“…and today we’re talking about the mountain lamb that the Lord provided. Literally, because it’s just a wild sheep.”
If you’re in America’s western snow capped regions and you hear a sudden crack that echoes through mountains, it might not be thunder. If that cracking continues at periodic intervals for close to an hour, you may be listening to a clash of titans. No, it’s not Greek deities battling atop Olympus. Its two rival sheep showing eachother what they’re made of in a test of strength and endurance. But sometimes victory means using your head in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at gmail dot com. We don’t have a new Measure Up intro this week.
Male Length
Male Weight
Bighorns can deliver a headbutt at 35 mph with enough power to instantly kill a human being. The impact of two males butting heads can be heard from a mile away. In fact, the impact generated by two sparing bighorns is the most force created by any sheep species. It’s estimated that they can generate 3400 N of force in a single blow.
That’s around 764 pounds of force that bighorn sheep take for hours. Estimates suggest that it could take around 551 pounds of force to break a human skull. Sorry GoT fans, the Mountain couldn’t really do it, but mountaineering bighorn sheep could.
Bighorns have large thick horns on the top of their heads. These are distinct from antlers, which are 100% made of bone. Horns are certain that surround a boney core. Antlers usually fall off and regrow regularly, but bighorn horns stick around.
These horns connect directly to the skull and there’s a thick layer of skull at the base of each horn. This skull base also has holes in it in a honey-comb pattern. While that may sound like it makes them less durable, it actually allows their skull to absorb more impact than solid bone.
The proteins that form the keratin sheath grow faster on the outward forward facing edge, which is useful for creating extra padding in the impact zone, but it also gives the horn it’s signature curl. These horns can grow to be up to 40 pounds on a full grown male.
The closest things humans come to experiencing this is NFL football players. Big hits can potentially reach up to 970 pounds of force, spread over their entire bodies and mitigated by padding and falling over. Bighorn sheep do this hundreds of times in an afternoon with the force concentrated directly onto their heads with almost no give to mitigate the impact. Football players routinely experience concussions and other lifelong injures, but the bighorn can do this with no problems.
Ending: So stick together, keep an eye out for predators, and keep your head down when defending your territory like the bighorn sheep here in LDT.
“…and today we’re talking about Yennefer of Vengerbird, the black and white songbird downunder. But more on that later.”
If you’re out for a stroll in the wilds of Australia, Europe, or North America, you might stumble upon a peculiar and gruesome sight: the impaled victims of the butcherbird. Setting its sights on larger prey but lacking the strength to subdue it, the butcherbird uses its environment to its advantage when hunting. But, brutal or not, a bird’s gotta do what a bird’s gotta do to survive here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
The grey butcherbird has a black head, with a white neck and belly. Their shoulders are a slate grey with black wingtips and tail feathers. Young birds have a dark brown head with white streaks and are said to look a lot like a kingfisher.
They’re shaped kind of like a crow with a proportionally longer beak. The beak also has a distinct hook on the end of it that you wouldn’t see in every passeriform.
Males and females share similar colors but males are slightly larger.
Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at gmail dot com. We don’t have a new Measure Up intro this week.
Wingspan
Weight
Even though they’re known as butchers, they’re actually very talented singers. They are known to be among the premier songbirds of Australia. Their songs contain both melodious whistles and harsh dissonant sounds.
Each member of a territorial group participates in the same territorial song. They repeat each other’s songs in a given area to let other birds know the territory belongs to their group. Sharing the same song allows the birds to spread a tune farther than if a single bird sang, like lighting the beacons of Gondor.
When a territorial group is performing, birds from other territories shut up and listen. Songs have been recorded lasting as much as 15 minutes. Individual members usually call and respond but sometimes overlap.
The breed in pairs between July and January and both sexes share parenting duties. Both will feed hatchlings and defend the nest but the mother incubates eggs. They may nest in a variety of habitats including woodland, shrublands, rainforests, and even urban areas.
They mostly eat insects and other animals but they’ll sometimes eat seeds. In some cases, they’ll eat other smaller birds and vertebrates.
Butcherbirds are birds that are known for a specific and brutal style of hunting.
They aren’t all related taxonomically though. Many butcherbirds are in the shrike order of birds. I’ve seen the shrikes in South Africa. The ones in Australia, however, are more closely related to magpies.
But butcherbirds of all types practice a common predator hunting method called “sally pouncing”, which involves flying straight into prey, grabbing it with its beak, and flying back to its perch. They’ll mainly go for insects, but they’ll also eat lizards, frogs, and even mice as big as they are.
Lots of birds use the sally pounce, but where raptors have strong legs and talons to grab and carry off prey, the butcherbird has the dainty feet of a passerine, so it needs a different strategy for larger prey.
It will clamp its beak down on the spinal cord of the animal to paralyze it. After that, it will shake the prey around like a dog to break its neck.
Then, they’ll often find a nice, quiet place to impale their prey like a thorn or branch. This acts as a larder, or a place to store food. The butcherbird can come back later to eat and it makes it easier to eat as well. It is also a way for males to attract mates with a scrumptious offering.
So you can tell when a butcherbird is nearby when you see the impaled bodies of its victims on display around thorny bushes. Kinda like a mad-max scene.
Ending: So sally-pounce whenever you get the chance, sing a rollicking duet, and keep your food impaled where you can always find it like the grey butcherbird here in LDT.
“…and today we’re talking about the biggest and the strongest primate in the world.”
The largest primate in the world is also the strongest. In fact, the eastern lowland gorilla is among the strongest animals pound for pound. Their size and strength has led to their depiction as classic monsters that Superman and Godzilla need to contend with. But though they seem to be the ultimate primal savage, that may not be the most accurate picture of our jungle friends. With one look into their soulful, knowing eyes, you may think twice about their demeanor in real Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at gmail dot com. We don’t have a new Measure Up intro this week.
B) European Green Toad
C) Galago (Bush baby)
D) Giant Salamander
Height
Weight
A small patch of jungle in the Democratic Republic of the Congo in sub-Saharan Africa.
I bet you think they eat bananas don’t you? But they don’t! They’ll actually tear banana trees apart to get at the inside of the tree. Mostly they eat plants and fruit but they’ll also eat insects – as evidenced by the time Tarzan used Tantor’s trunk to blow all the termites out of their mounds for the gorillas to eat while Phil Collins sang about coming of age. They don’t really need to drink water because all their food is so saturated with water.
Like other apes, gorillas are known to be incredibly smart – for animals. They often use tools like sticks and rocks to interact with the world around them. They can use sticks to gauge the depth of water before crossing. They also use rocks to crack open nuts. They can also learn sign language.
There’s just the best video of Robin Williams interacting with a gorilla named Koko and they got in what can only be described as the perfect tickle fight. She also took his glasses and put them on and stole his wallet.
There’s another video of her talking to Mr. Rogers and they burp in each other’s faces – but in a good way. They can live as long as 60 years in captivity.
The strongest animals pound for pound are dung beetles, rhino beetles, leafcutter ants, and gorillas.
Gorillas are as much as 9 times as strong as a typical human being and they can lift around 10 times their own body weight. That’s the equivalent of the average human lifting a small car.
They routinely show feats of strength by lifting logs, ripping plants out of the ground, rolling stones with ease. Because of their bulky size, large canine teeth, and aggressive territorial displays, they’re often depicted as the ultimate primordial big bad savage. But that may not be the full picture.
So what is their immense strength for?
Silverback gorillas are the biggest and strongest of all gorillas and they usually rise to the top of family groups. Black black males are younger and smaller and they form the rear guard of family groups, waiting in the back to make sure nothing is stalking the fam.
Silverbacks are actually gentle fathers, able to temper their strength to play with young gorillas. Like human toddlers, rough play helps them learn the appropriate applications of strength in social settings.
Unlike chimpanzees and some other apes that are true omnivores, gorillas are rarely meat eaters. Instead, they eat mostly vegetation, fruit, and insects. They have large canines and a bite force of 1,300 psi, which is about twice the bite force of a lion. In fact, it’s very similar to a hyena’s bite force. Despite this, it’s used to munch on tough plants rather than prey animals.
The closest they come to using their full strength is when they fight other rival males to protect the family group or for mating rights. When a male reaches silverback status, they’ll leave their family group to attract females of their own. If they have other males to compete with, it may come to blows.
However, with all that strength, fights between rival males often leave both injured or mortally wounded. They avoid other groups and are very slow to engage in conflict. But they are very territorial, but they’d rather solve conflict with territorial displays rather than a fight.
A recent study found that they have some very human-like territorial behaviors. They have nuanced territorial behaviors. Instead of having strict boundaries that they’ll defend to the death like chimpanzees, they have loose territories and shared spaces with other groups. The center of a families territory may be strictly defended but the outer areas may be shared with other groups.
Males will beat their chests, scream, bare their teeth, and use false charges to scare off rivals before engaging in violence. They may also use branches to shake at intruders to increase noise and threatening movements.
Even though they rarely have to use their full strength and have high vegetable diets, their immense strength comes from genetics. Mammals tend to be larger, not because of predators, but because of mating and competition. Since the spoils go to the strongest, males have grown to be big despite their gentle natures. Their size and strength displays alone may be enough to win a contest.
Ending: So chill out with your family, eat your leafy greens, and make sure you’re strong enough to pull the ears off a gungar like the gorilla here in LDT.
“…and today we’re talking about something that looks just like an iguana but it’s apparently not a lizard at all.”
Scattered along the northern coast of New Zealand’s north island is a living fossil that was thought to be extinct: the tuatara. A laid-back lizard with a lazy lifestyle, the tuatara spends most of its time getting some sweet vitamin D in the sun and using the introspective sight of its peculiar third eye. But having insight can help with more than just character development here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
“…and today we’re talking about a mongoose most foul. But more on that later.”
The savannah is a brutal place for the animals that call it home. Between lions, leopards, and hyenas, many of the mammals that populate Africa’s jungles and plains are built with sharp claws and powerful jaws. But when it comes to violence against an animal’s own kind, researchers have found that these big fearsome predators aren’t the most murderous. Instead, a small, unassuming species of mongoose accept this grim accolade. But what makes the meerkat so deadly? It’s a fact that shows that nature is sometimes cruel in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
“…and today we’re talking about the longest boy in the ocean. But more on that later.”
Earthquakes are some of the most destructive events on this planet, snuffing out lives by the thousands and destroying entire cities. The worst part is, we can’t really predict them in advance-or can we? The elusive oarfish is often considered an incredibly long harbinger of earthquakes, and some people see sightings of them as a sign of impending disaster. Let’s find out just how much truth there is to this here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
“…and today we’re talking about the ghost of the forest. But more on that later.”
A hare grazes in a clearing surrounded by the forest edge. An uneasy feeling comes over him, like he’s being watched. He makes for the tree line, seeking safety among the trees and shrubs. But it does him no good. Like a ghost, a predator glides through the woods, seemingly unobstructed by the leaves and branches in its flight path. An almost supernatural speed carries the raptors talons to their furry target. The goshawk is a born fighter pilot and it’s as at home in the wild blue yonder as it is in thick forest. But combination of versatility and velocity may be the edge this bird needs in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
“…and today we’re talking about an animal that sounds like a delicious Caribbean dish but looks like it inspired the Witcher’s endrega monsters. But more on that later.”
Scattered across the islands of the south Pacific is a population of crabs that are great in a pinch. The coconut crab is the largest land crab in the world and uses its claws to tear open more than just coconuts. From their predatory tactics to their ability to drop from the trees, this is one decapod that you don’t want to mess with on your trip to Christmas Island. But being a Pinchy Pete is just how this Krusty Krab survives here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.
“…and today we’re talking about a modern day dinosaur with a name to match. But more on that later.”
Lizards sometimes retain primordial qualities. To look at them, you may see the scaly faces of ages long gone. The sailfin dragon lizard has a look that matches it’s fantastical name. But the dinosaur-esque nature of this reptile doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a few new tricks in it’s arsenal. This dragon makes its home in near the water, and he brings some interesting adaptations to the taxonomic table. Improving on the tried and reptile design might be the best option for this aqua-dragon in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.