Podcast: Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we’re talking about a sea rug that expresses deep sorrow and wretchedness, but more on that later.”

The 70s and your average coral reef have one thing in common: shag carpets are a bad idea. In either case, you need to watch where you step, because you never know what lurks underneath. The Tasselled Wobbegong spends most of its day pretending to be nothing but an unkempt rug. While most sharks waste their energy spinning their wheels and chasing after their meals, ol’ TW likes to do things the lazy way. It’s the crocodile of the reef, an ambush predator with a ridiculous amount of long-suffering. But sometimes the deadliest strategy isn’t constant effort—it’s explosive patience like the Tasselled Wobbegong here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…today we’re talking about a toothy torpedo. But more on that later.”

The leopard seal is a terrifying arctic predator. With a mouth full of teeth and a long jaw built for coming, it looks as much like a dinosaur as it does a sea mammal. Despite its efficiency as a fighter, it’s also something of a lover… singing sweet songs to its long lost mates to find them somewhere in the deep… But that’s the duality of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bird that knows your schedule. But not really.” 

The combination of a velociraptor and an HR manager somehow produced a pretty elegant bird with a mean left hook. The secretary bird struts across the African savanna with confidence that is definitely well-earned. Long-legged, laser-focused, and lighting-fast, this feathered fighter can shoot with the best of ‘em. But sometimes, the best defense is simply being able to kick your problems away like the Secretary Bird here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a creature that can walk forward and why that’s interesting. But more on that later.”

Two cohorts meet on a beach, marching forward to meet one another head on… both flying the same blue colors. There’s no reason to fight, in fact, they are much stronger together… the soldier crabs combine their might to become an unassailable force. As individuals, they are humble, but together they are like the flowing tides of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a blistering bug in the blistering heat of summer. More on that later.”

Some creatures kick in your front door. Others pick the lock, raid the fridge, and somehow convince you to thank them for stopping by. The European blister beetle belongs squarely in that second category. It’s a glossy black little ball that orchestrates one of nature’s sneakiest cons. But sometimes, working smarter rather than harder can look a lot more like freeloading like the European blister beetle here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a tiny brain with big thoughts. But more on that later.”

The regal jumping spider has those signature big round eyes that make this arthropod kind of cute… but if you watch them long enough, you might see that there’s thoughts behind those black pearls. Jumping spiders have tiny brains, but why do they seem to do a lot more mental processing than other tiny arachnids? Sometimes even a spider has to think about Life, Death, and Taxonomy. 

“… and today we’re talking about a demolition ant. But more on that later.”

Out in the desert lives a tiny tan troublemaker that treats civil engineering like psychological warfare. These little insects spend their days bustling about deserts and grasslands looking for what seems like harmless debris. But beneath that innocent exterior is a six-legged strategist with the creativity of a medieval siege engineer. But sometimes it pays to play offense and defense at the same time in the game of life here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bug that sounds like a power tool… but more on that later.”

Early on a Saturday morning is no time to start hearing machinery going in the neighborhood… but what if you hear that same sound in Australia’s open heath habitats and woodlands? Did someone put gravel in their didgeridoo? No, that’s the song of the sandgrinder cicada… and to other cicadas it’s the sweet music of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a sophisticated chemist. But more on that later.”

In moonlit meadows and forest edges, there lurks a patient puppeteer. While most predators settle for catching dinner, a sort of “earn it and burn it” approach, the East Asian orb-weaver seems oddly interested in what its victims do after they’re caught, treating them sort of like seed money for an investment. Somewhere between a mustache-twisting villain and a shrewd businessman, this advanced arachnid shows that it pays to work smarter rather than harder to survive here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bumbling beetle, but more on that later.”

A bee is a brilliant bug… essential to the natural order. Plants propagate with the help of these fuzzy friends… not just wild flowers, but all the plants we need to survive in a healthy ecosystem. But what happens when a beetle comes a-bumbling. The brown flower beetle shows us what happens when finesse is thrown out the window in the pollination game in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.