Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we’re talking about a flat character. But more on that later.”

Everyone likes a comeback kid. Clutching victory from the jaws of defeat. But what the Black Planarian Flatworm does is way beyond a come from behind win. This pond citizen has a regenerative ability so extraordinary that it would give a thinking creature a ship-of-theseus style identity crisis. Sometimes that’s what it takes to survive in Life, Death, and Taxonomy. 

“And today were talking about something that’s not real velvet but it is a real worm. It is actual worm. It lives like a worm.”

A wanderer in the undergrowth, glides along the leaf litter, searching for prey to tuck into the cradle of decay. This plush creature hides a secret silk used to knit gossamer snares. If you’re caught in its trap, the dreams it weaves will never end. Forever lost to the velvet worm’s forest floor domain. Each falling leaf, a stone added to the cairn above your grave in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about another, more different spotted noodle. But more on that later.”

Slithering silently in the sandy shallows, the garden eel sways like a living blade of seagrass, rooted yet restless in the ocean’s endless ebb. Picture a creature that’s half snake, half shrub, playing peek-a-boo with the tides while pretending to be part of the scenery. It’s the ultimate introvert of the reef, committed to staying put but always ready to duck out of sight faster than you blink. These sneaky serpents of the sea have mastered the art of blending in, like the garden eel here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

Description of the Garden Eel

Spotted Garden Eels (Heteroconger hassi) have a distinctive and charming appearance:

• Long, slender, and eel-like, resembling a thin tube. 
• Pale beige to yellowish base color, covered with numerous small black spots scattered across the body, giving them their “spotted” name.
• Two prominent large black patches—one near the gill area and another further along the body—stand out as key identifiers.
• Large, expressive eyes for spotting food and threats, and an upturned mouth adapted for snatching zooplankton from currents.
• Lack prominent fins; their body tapers to a pointed tail, which is muscular and used for digging and anchoring in their sandy burrows.
• In their natural habitat, only the upper half of their body extends from the burrow, swaying gently in the current, resembling blades of grass.

Measure Up

Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at gmail dot com. 

Length of the Garden Eel

The Garden Eel has a length of 60 cm (23.6 inches). How many eels, laid end to end, fit into the length of these ocean, sailing, or ship-related objects?

Question: How many Garden Eels fit into each object’s length?

A) 4 go into the length of a harpoon

B) 2 goes into the length of a flying fish

C) 1 goes into the length of a ship’s belaying pin

a) The length of a harpoon

A traditional whaling harpoon, used in 19th-century maritime hunting, typically measures about 6 feet (182.9 cm or 1.83 meters) long, including the shaft and barbed head.

b) The length of a flying fish

The Atlantic flying fish (Cheilopogon melanurus), found in oceanic waters, has a body length of about 30 cm (11.8 inches) for a large adult.

c) The length of a ship’s belaying pin

A belaying pin, a wooden or metal rod used on sailing ships to secure ropes, typically measures about 18 inches (45.7 cm) in length on traditional vessels like schooners.

Diameter of the Garden Eel

The Garden Eel has a body diameter of 1 cm (0.39 inches). How many eels, placed side by side, fit into the diameter or width of these ocean, sailing, or ship-related objects?

Question: How many Garden Eels fit into each object’s diameter or width?

A) 81 go into the diameter of a 19th century frigate’s wheel

B) 140 go into the width of a giant clam shell

C) 2 go into the diameter of a standard nautical rope

a) The diameter of a ship’s wheel

A traditional ship’s wheel, as found on 18th–19th century sailing vessels like frigates, typically has a diameter of about 36 inches (91.4 cm).

b) The width of a giant clam shell

The giant clam (Tridacna gigas), found in Indo-Pacific coral reefs, can have a shell width of about 120 cm (1.2 meters) for a large specimen.

c) The diameter of a nautical rope

A standard nautical rope used for rigging on sailing ships, such as a hemp or manila line, often has a diameter of about 2.5 cm (1 inch) for medium-duty tasks.

Fast Facts

1. Location: Garden eels are found in tropical and subtropical marine waters worldwide, with a strong presence in the Indo-Pacific region.
2. Permanent Burrow Dwellers: Once they settle into a burrow, they rarely leave it for their entire lives, which can span 35–40 years. They dig these burrows using strong tail muscles and secrete a mucus to cement the walls, creating a secure home to retreat from predators or sleep in at night.
3. Unique Feeding Style: These eels feed on zooplankton and microorganisms carried by ocean currents, snatching them with their large mouths while keeping most of their body in the burrow. Their excellent eyesight helps them spot food and threats, making them efficient planktivores.
4. Shy but Social: Despite being timid and quick to retreat into their burrows when predators like sparids or triggerfish approach, they thrive in social colonies. They even show group behaviors, like collective alerting to danger, and during breeding season, they move burrows closer to potential mates.
5. Reef-Safe Aquarium Stars: In aquariums, they’re prized for being reef-safe, as they don’t harm corals or invertebrates due to their small mouths and stationary lifestyle. However, their need for a deep sand bed (at least 6–8 inches) and frequent feeding makes them a challenge for expert aquarists.
6. Wide Tropical Range: Found across the Indo-Pacific, from the Red Sea to the Society Islands, they inhabit sandy bottoms and seagrass beds at depths of 5–50 meters, blending seamlessly with their surroundings. Their preference for minimal currents and warm waters (25–29°C) makes them a tropical gem.
7. Reproductive Mystery: Their spawning behavior is still partly shrouded in mystery. It likely happens at low light, with males and females in adjacent burrows fertilizing eggs that drift away in the current. This secretive process adds to their enigmatic allure.

Major Fact: The Grassy Goal

• Garden eels anchor themselves in burrows on the seafloor, poking out like blades of grass to feed and breathe.
• They dig burrows tail-first using their muscular tails, creating a semi-permanent home in sandy substrates.
• Their upright posture allows them to sway with ocean currents, blending seamlessly with surrounding seagrass or coral.
• By sticking out only partway, they minimize exposure to predators like triggerfish or jacks.
• They feed on plankton and small particles swept by currents, snagging food without leaving their burrows.
• Garden eels retract into their burrows at lightning speed when threatened, vanishing like a magic trick.
• Living in colonies, their collective swaying creates the illusion of a grassy meadow, enhancing group camouflage.
• Their grass-like appearance deters predators, who often overlook them as part of the environment.
• Their fixed position solves the problem of energy conservation, letting currents deliver food while they stay put.
• This lifestyle impacts reef ecosystems by aerating sandy substrates and serving as prey for specialized predators.

Ending: So hang out with your buddies, poke your head out of the ground, and whither like the grass like the spotted garden eel here in LDT

Picture a primate with a penchant for plunging.The proboscis monkey, with its pendulous schnozz and a physique built for aquatic acrobatics, is the rainforest’s resident daredevil. This long-nosed leaper doesn’t just swing through the mangroves; it hurls itself into the drink with the grace of a 10-year old at the Y, making a splash that echoes through the Bornean backwaters. But sometimes, you have to make some waves to survive here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about an armadillo that’s having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee. But more on that later.” 

A rose-hued sprite is found on the Argentine plains. This fae surfs the rippling waves of xeric sands, past the islands of desert scrub. A pointed nose cuts a channel through the substrate, while paddle claws turn soil into wake. The pink fairy armadillo is no trickster or magician–just a well-equipped creature for the subterranean arid Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

Picture a sneaky, slinky shadow darting through the African savanna, a nocturnal ninja with a knack for nabbing prime real estate on the move. This crafty critter isn’t just scampering through the grass—it’s catching rides on the biggest beasts around, like a furry freeloader hitching a lift on a living tank. With a face like a weasel and the rest like a cat that’s had one too many espressos, the common genet is the ultimate opportunist, turning the wild into its personal Uber service. Buckle up for a wild ride, like the common genet here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“..and today we’re talking about a pup from the past but more on that later.”

When a species is long forgotten underneath ancient permafrost, things start to look dire. But new scientific efforts are tapping into long forgotten DNA to build a bridge to the past. The question is, are we able to see the dead return to life, or is something completely new walking the earth in Life, Death, and Taxonomy…

“…and today we’re talking about a Tom Sawyer bug. But more on that later.” 

Some guys just can’t take the hint. For Moorland Hawker Dragonfly females, this can be a bit more than a simple inconvenience. When the suitors come knocking, this lady doesn’t just dodge the drama—she takes it to a whole new level. Think of her as the aerial equivalent of a swooning Victorian damsel, only with less corset and more cunning. She’s here to remind us that sometimes the best way to deal with life’s pests is to play possum and pray they buzz off, like the Moorland Hawker Dragonfly here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a smooth operator. But more on that later.”

In the strange underwater world of the reef, many creatures develop weapons of war to fight off enemies. But one crab has entered the ocean’s arms race with a refined approach. The smooth box crab has a pair of pinchers specialized for the tasks before them. One to rip asunder rind and another to render a tender find in Life Death and Taxonomy. 

“…and today we’re talking about a petite predator– relatively speaking. But more on that later.”

Slithering through the shadows of swampy secrecy, the African dwarf crocodile is a pint-sized predator with a penchant for peculiarity. This crafty critter lurks in the murky margins of rivers and wetlands, a miniature menace shrouded in mystery. Some whisper of a clan cloaked in an eerie, otherworldly hue, thriving where light dares not linger—a riddle wrapped in a reptile, if you will. So, settle in as we wade into the weirdness, like the African dwarf crocodile here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.