Podcast: Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we’re talking about a sophisticated chemist. But more on that later.”

In moonlit meadows and forest edges, there lurks a patient puppeteer. While most predators settle for catching dinner, a sort of “earn it and burn it” approach, the East Asian orb-weaver seems oddly interested in what its victims do after they’re caught, treating them sort of like seed money for an investment. Somewhere between a mustache-twisting villain and a shrewd businessman, this advanced arachnid shows that it pays to work smarter rather than harder to survive here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bumbling beetle, but more on that later.”

A bee is a brilliant bug… essential to the natural order. Plants propagate with the help of these fuzzy friends… not just wild flowers, but all the plants we need to survive in a healthy ecosystem. But what happens when a beetle comes a-bumbling. The brown flower beetle shows us what happens when finesse is thrown out the window in the pollination game in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a fuzzy little creep. But more on that later.”

Out in the rocky woodland alleys of East Africa lurks a rodent that ain’t nothin but a heartache. The African crested rat waddles around in a spikey stripey overcoat like a tiny hedge skunk with a toxic secret. Unlike its murine kin, this mouse with a mohawk copies the human trait of using its chemical environment for defense. But if you’re not fast, strong, or hidden, you may as well be spicy like the African crested rat here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a stinky turt. But more on that later.”

A turtle is designed for defense… A tiny tank swimming around a river with an armored body that’s hardened against hungry fish and birds. But what if you share that river with creatures with huge jaws, capable of crushing even the tankiest turtle armor? Would you stick your neck out? You might… if you have some other tricks up your sleeve in Life, Death, and Taxonomy. 

“…and today we’re talking about a pileated pile driver. But more on that later.”

Somewhere deep in the forest, a feathered jackhammer slaves away to fill all the trees with holes. The pileated woodpecker attacks hardwood with its whole face and somehow strolls away from repeated headfirst collisions with nary a scratch, let alone constant concussions. It’s a biological engineering marvel with a mohawk. But sometimes you have to have special headgear to be a woodland wrecking ball like the Pileated Woodpecker here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and now we’re talking to high quality bird brains. But more on that later.”

What does the crow know? 

Accounts, it does not grow. 

Seeds, it does not sow. 

But knowing it will show.

When life asks the crow…

To think to earn its dough.

The new caledonian crow may be among the smartest birds in the animal kingdom… even showing talents we once thought were an exclusive part of the human Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bug that is a scientific instrument… but more on that later.”

In the sticky stillness of a summer night, a tiny troubadour tunes up in the trees. This pale, unassuming performer doesn’t just chirp—it engineers, improvises, and even has custom acoustics. This backyard busker sings its love song using some unorthodox methods. But if you’ve ever lived in a big family, you know you have to find a way to make yourself heard like the Thermometer Cricket here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a frog with a funny name that we’re going to be mature about! But more on that eminently.”

A special frog lives at the bottom of a lake on top of the world… Lake Titicaca is the highest navigable waterway on earth, and it’s home to an amphibian that’s gone full aqua! But how does a creature with lungs never come up for air? Well… answers are rarely only skin deep in Life, Death and Taxonomy. 

“..and today we’re talking about a fat baby sea bird. But more on that later.”

Out on the icy oceans of the Arctic, the Northern Fulmar floats above the waves—calm, collected, and carrying a concealed weapons permit. This bird doesn’t bluff, doesn’t bluster, and certainly doesn’t believe in backing down. Instead, it leans into a peculiar brand of defense that’s equal parts disgusting and disturbingly effective. Think less “fight or flight” and more “fight with… fluids.” It’s a slick, sinister solution to survival. But I guess war crimes don’t matter to animals like the Northern Fulmar here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a Lazerus noodle. But more on that later.”

The worst thing that can happen to a species is extinction. The balance of life and death tips towards oblivion… a corner of creation relegated to rejoin the dust. People are often the problem…but we’re getting better at finding solutions. One small wild ferret was on the brink of disaster until it was astonishingly restored to the cycle of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.