Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“And today we’re talking about a creature with a clear eyes and a full heart. But more on that later.”

When it comes to relationships, one of the best qualities is transparency. When you find that special someone, you can really open up and let that special someone see your heart—as well as your liver and small intestine. The reticulated glass frog has nothing to hide, but it does possess secret kung-fu powers that only humans and a select few unfortunate wasps have come to learn about. But if you’re going to be a frog dad, it pays to be a ninja frog dad here in Life Death and Taxonomy.

“And today we’re talking about a bird that claps for himself. But more on that later.”

Dance is the language of love. Or at least, that’s the motto of a variety of birds in rain forests around the world. Some animals fight for their mates, but why do that when you can settle things with style? One small South American bird takes his dance to the next level buy incorporating some moves that are big on the pop scene. But when your a bird of very small stature, you have to do whatever it takes to catch the eye of an eligible bachelorette in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“Today we’re talking about a crummy parent and a nasty little child. But more on that later.”

Like the social programs that Ayn Rand despises so much, parasites exist to profit off of someone else with no benefit to the host. The cuckoo bird likes making kids, but hates raising them. They’re a lot of work, and they’d rather fly around and squawk at things rather than be parents. So they take the sleazy parasite route. But how can they get anyone else to feed and spank their kids? It’s all about being the biggest bird in the bush here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“Today we are talking about a river horse whose looks are laughable and unphotographable. Yet they’re my favorite work of art.”

“And today we’re talking about a worm that’s more radiant than a locomotive. But more on that later.”

“And today we’re talking about a big black buzzard the binges on bear beef but more on that later.”

“And today we are talking about one of the biggest animal celebrities. I’m a little star struck already.”

“And today we’re talking about a big blubbery boy with wonderful whiskers with which they wade around in the water.”

“And today we are talking about a slippery sucker pup that has more than 15 ways to get out of danger.”

“And today we are talking about a bird that is a harbinger of doom and destruction. But more on that later.”