Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we’re talking about a bird that loves chocolate chip cookies. But more on that later.”

“…and today we’re talking about a gecko that just does what it wilsts. But more on that later.”

The 80s spawned a lot of things: Reaganomics, Terminator, Steve Perry. But it also gave rise to the Satanic Panic. And one of the most prominent kinds of Satanists that the decade produced was an evil race of tiny geckos with leaves for tails. These dastardly reptiles can hide in plain sight, and though they don’t worship the beast, they do eat beelzelbugs on the regular. But that’s just how the satanic leaf-tailed gecko operates here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…we’re talking about a colorful jungle bird that follows his nose for froot… I mean fruit. But more on that later.”

The jungle is a paradise of delectable nectar and fantastic fruit. For those that can reach these delights, the jungle provides everything you need. But it takes some special equipment to take advantage of such decadent prizes. But nature can throw all kinds of challenges your way, so the toucan carries a multitool on the front of its face. It’s a lesson in being prepared for anything, in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about the tibetan fox of antelopes. By that I mean it looks like a child’s drawing of the antelope that isn’t quite right. But more on that later.”

On the steppes of the stans in Central Asia, a goofy-looking antelope grazes around the countryside, using its odd snout to sniff the ground as it walks. But having such a problematic proboscis can be more trouble than it’s worth, as a silent killer stalks these nefarious noses. But having a slinky snout is just how the Saiga antelope stays cool here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about an owl with an eye for allies. But more on that later.”

Small things slithering across the woodlands know to watch the skies. A killer approaches silently as it glides from high perches. For most small mammals and invertebrates that meet this aerial doom, it’s time to say goodbye to this mortal coil. But when a particular snake comes face-to-beak with the eastern screech owl, they have one more chance to prove their worth. But sometimes, combating deadly predators is a matter of being worth more alive than dead in Life, Death, and Taxonomy. 

“…and today we’re talking about the sloooowest mammal in the world. But more on that later.”

The Amazon jungle is home to a wide variety of animals both fast and slow, with one of the slowest being the brown-throated sloth. But with so many fierce predators on the jungle floor, it helps to spend all your time hanging out in the trees. The only problem is, there aren’t a lot of good things to eat way high up in the trees. So to stay healthy, and stay slow, the sloth has some unorthodox ways of getting his vitamins here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.