Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we’re talking about an insect that would probably shop at Hot Topic. But more on that later.”

When you’re a spider wasp, you don’t have time to raise kids. They’re expensive, a liability, and they never stop asking for more spider gut snacks. So rather than deal with all that, it’s best to just find a little crevice to lay your eggs and call it a day. But you still need to make sure your neglected progeny survives, right? Well maybe the ideal house for your precious little ones is a bone house. It turns out that sharing a dank nook with the unalive is a great way to survive here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a killer that offers sweet nectar to its prey. More on that later.”

There is a certain dread that strikes the human heart when you learn about an insect that expands its diet to include things like frogs, birds, and–worse yet–mammals. The giant desert centipede is just giant enough to cross into our class for a meal. But it needs more than size to take down large prey. A toolkit with more than one deadly device is exactly what this insect boasts in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about an aerial ace, fry thief. But more on that later.”

On the cliffs where oceans wail,

The kelp gull tells a fishy tale.

With eyes so keen and beak so bright,

It spies a meal that’s quite a sight.

A right whale feasts on plankton small,

The kelp gull swoops, not shy at all.

It pecks and nibbles, takes its share,

A gourmet feast beyond compare.

So if you see this feathered fellow,

With beak all stained from blubber yellow,

Know he’s dining in grand style,

On right whale snacks, mile by mile.

“…and today we are talking about a petite pack hunter. But more on that later…”

Canines are usually smaller than their prey. That’s because they’ve decided to work together as a team, and teams mean more mouths to feed. But what if you’re not the size of a wolf or even a coyote? What if you’re more like the size of a corgi? That’s no problem, the team just needs to find the right prey and the right game plan to win the prize. But teamwork makes the pups full in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about an invading hoard that isn’t even supposed to be here. But more on that later.”

If you didn’t already, you should know that there are millions of ants living under your feet. With an estimated 20 quadrillion of these little guys on the planet, you’re never very far away from a teeming colony of coordinated insects. This is mostly thanks to the Argentine Ant, which has found a way to span the globe using peace, harmony, and aggressive imperialist and scorched earth policies. But sometimes it’s not enough to survive, you need to win here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we are talking about a tiny slimy father. But more on that later.”

Doting fatherhood is often a rarity in the animal kingdom. For most species, the lack of the maternal physical connection between fathers and offspring means that dads are relegated to nest protectors or they simply move on. But the red-backed poison dart frog is different. When his children are in need of resources, a brilliant color is not the only thing that can be found on his back. But carrying the future on your shoulders is sometimes the true test of manhood, in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a rising star in the sea. But more on that later.”

Imagine you’re swimming a casual 4000 feet below the waves in the inky blackness of the bathypelagic zone when you come across a pair of what seems like headlights. Is it a car? Is it a plane? No, it’s a squid with its brights on. The Dana Octopus Squid is a shiny fellow and isn’t afraid to let that light shine before men that they may see his squid deeds. But when you live where the sun doesn’t shine, you’ll need a light to survive here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about the Listerine dad fish. But more on that later.”

The bright and colorful coral reefs are home to a wide variety of fish, but very few can be considered decent parents. The yellowhead jawfish is, however, an exception. Taking care of kids is never easy, but try doing it without a diaper genie and, you know, hands. But this finned father has figured out a way to keep the kiddos safe and sound here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bug-eyed pseudo bird. But more on that later.”

Arboreal creatures are built to get around in trees, and in the rainforest, that’s an extremely helpful adaptation. But what if your so great at getting around the branches that your no good on the ground. The Colugo is in such a predicament. When you can’t go down, you have to figure out a better way to stay up. Keeping your chin up and your eyes on the prize is a great way to make it in Life, Death and Taxonomy. 

“..and today we are talking about an American mammal that you might not already know about.”

If you’re a denizen of North America, you probably think you know every furry critter in these parts. You’ve got your bears, cats, wolves, and even a muskrat or two. But there is a lesser known mammalian that may lurk in the dark of your backyard in the wee small hours of the morning, that you’ve never heard of at all. The ringtail is the essence of the word critter, and yet, it’s a lesser known member of the American Animal kingdom. But learning more about a place you thought you knew is the spice of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.