Life, Death, and Taxonomy

“…and today we are talking about the Pirates of the Caribbean, but not the movie. More on that later.”

Out on the high seas, it’s a dog eat dog eat bird eat other bird’s food kinda world. Yer never safe when you have booty to take home to the littl’uns. You’ll have to keep yer eyes on the skies, as there lurks a thief with wings blacker than his heart, ready to wring the devil out of ya and set sail with yer precious treasure. So if yer a tropical island bird, you better watch for the shadow of the magnificent frigatebird here on Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a big-mouthed, deep-living, inflatable tube man. But more on that later.”

Americans have just enjoyed a holiday of abundance. Many of us have funneled turkey into our gobblers with mirth and glee. But what if you lived in a place where food was less abundant. That’s where the spirit of thankfulness comes in. At the bottom of the sea, the pelican eel really does become a funnel to make the most of the marine snow that trickles down from above. But this year, we can all be thankful that we don’t live in the deep ocean for our entire Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…And today we’re talking about an American noodle of many varieties. But more on that later.”

The Manitoban city of Narcisse is a small, quaint place with not much tourism for most of the year. However, for a few days of every spring, the ground erupts in a slithering mass of red-sided garter snakes. Why do these living noodles get together in such massive numbers? What are they doing for so long underground? Well, not surprisingly, it’s all about surviving long enough to pass along those genes. It is, after all, the true meaning of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

Description of the Garter Snake

• Common garter snakes are long thin noodles.
• Most have multicolored stripes that run the length of their bodies from head to tail.
• Common garter snakes come in several colors, including green, blue, yellow, gold, red, orange, brown, and black.

Measure Up

Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at Gmail dot com. We don’t have a new Measure Up intro!

Length

• Up to four feet long
• How many garter snakes go into the height of the tallest tier in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?
• Hint: The Hanging Gardens of Babylon are among the seven wonders of the ancient world. The gardens were built on a stepped pyramid shaped building, covered in plants and vegetation. The gardens were said to be a gift from King Nebuchadnezzar II to his wife Queen Amytis of Media. Media was a green, mountainous country and she was sick of the flat plains of Babylon. So he built her a mountain. 
• 18.75 snakes. The uppermost gallery was described as 50 cubits high (75 feet).

Weight 

• 5 ounces
• How many garter snakes go into the weight of the Big Bud 16V-747 when it is fully ballasted?
• Hint: The Big Bud 16V-747 is the biggest tractor ever. The top of the cab is 14 feet high. Ballast is usually a liquid or foamy material that’s used to fill the tire to add weight, which increases traction and cuts down on horsepower imbalance. 
• 432,000 snakes. Big Bud weighs 135,000 pounds.

Fast Facts about the Garter Snake

Habitat

Garter snakes are found in forests, fields, prairies, streams, wetlands, meadows, marshes, and ponds–often found near water. 

Range

Geographically, they are found as far south as the southernmost tip of Florida and as far north as Canada’s Northwest territories. 

Diet

They eat frogs, newts, earthworms, leeches, slugs, fish, lizards, crustaceans, and insects.

Other Facts

Garter snake bites aren’t dangerous to humans, but their bite can cause itching and irritation. They don’t have fangs like a viper, but many garter snake species have very small teeth. 

Their saliva has a mild venom that can be toxic to small prey species. 

Some subspecies ooze a stinky liquid when they are threatened.

They are resistant to poisons that might kill a human, including the toxic poisons found on toads and newts.

Major Fact: Tying the Knot (10,000 Snakes in their Dens)

With Thanksgiving coming up, many of us are prepping for large family gatherings – you ain’t got nothin on this snake though, even though its biggest gatherings happen in Canada where they’re apparently not thankful for anything.

Each year, the red-sided garter snake migrates to the Inner Lake of Manitoba, near Winnipeg, creating the largest gathering of snakes in the world.

In an area known as the Narcisse Snake Dens, some 70,000 snakes come to nest in the clefts of the rocks. That scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indy is dropped in that pit of snakes? Yeah that’s more than fiction in Manitoba.

As long as you’re not squeamish around snakes, I highly recommend the Nat Geo video covering it. Seeing that many snakes all together in one pit is fascinating.

The reason they congregate like this is that they’re cold-blooded reptiles living in Canada. Temperatures can reach down to -50F, colder than the surface of Mars. This is definitely cold enough to kill any animal that needs to manually regulate its body temperature.

That’s why you almost never see snakes outside of the tropics or subtropics. So they brumate, the reptile version of hibernating just without the sleeping part. For reptiles, it’s as much about maintaining body temperature as it is about slowing metabolism to conserve energy.

These snakes brumate inside of sinkholes made in the limestone that allows them to hang out below the frost line.

Since there are only a few sinkholes that are large and deep enough to act as dens, all the snakes in the area need to congregate at just four locations, each den being about the size of a living room but housing tens of thousands of snakes.

All of them wriggling around apparently sounds like wind rushing through trees loudly. It would be like a giant looking down at a small college football stadium filled to capacity.

They also mate in the spring once they come back up out of their dens. Females are larger and less numerous than males (1:100), so the males need to navigate an ocean of writhing angel hair pasta to find one pasta strand that’s slightly larger than the rest. 

Using pheromones, they’ll track down a female. Sometimes so many males pile onto one female that they can tumble down slopes in a big mating ball.

The goal for the males is literally to irritate her until she opens up a gland to spray a repellant odor that also leaves her open to mate.

This area was actually the site of one of Manitoba’s first labor strikes. The workers at a construction site refused to continue working until these massive snake dens were cleared.

There’s even a giant statue of two garter snakes named Sara and Sam.

The u-haul I saw this on called it one of the largest gatherings of vertebrates in the world, but Adelie penguins have colonies of up to half a million.

Ending: So stay warm, don’t neglect to gather together, and irritate your females like the red-sided garter snake here in LDT.

“…and today we’re talking about a bookworm. Literally, but also not literally. More on that later.”

In the dark of an academy library, a shining silverfish ponders some of life’s greatest questions, like, “what is a tastier snack, the pages of War and Peace or its bindings?” A true scholar, the silverfish must test his hypothesis before making any definitive judgements. You and I don’t have the stomach for such studies, but expanding your palate is a great way to experience Life, Death, and Taxonomy. 

“…and today we’re talking about moss that grows fat on a rolling toad. But more on that later.”

Whether you’re a hungry predator or just a curious researcher, finding yourself a Vietnamese Mossy Frog isn’t going to be easy. They’re not only in the Disguisee family, but they can also deceive you with just their adorable little ribbit, leaving you to run around in circles, chasing your proverbial or literal tail, never to find found. But throwing your heart, skin, and voice into your getup is what being a master of disguise looks like here in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we are talking about an animal that stands for what they believe in. But more on that later.”

What do you do when you’ve saved the last slice of cake but there are other hungry eyes with thoughts of treachery. Anyone with siblings knows that you have to stake your claim quickly. Licking or taking a bite of the sugary delight is enough to deter most shifty sisters and betraying brothers. The common spotted cuscus doesn’t guard baked goods. Rather, he has to guard his territory. But that doesn’t stop him from using this familiar strategy in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a deep diving jelly-headed leviathan. But more on that later.”

Deep in the water where the fish hang out lives a massive tanky mammal with a quite impressive shout. 

This blockheaded blubber boi is looking for a fight, he uses his ticks and tricks to hunt with little light.

But piercing the eardrums of every nearby fish, allows him to eat up all the squid that he could wish.

He’s big, he’s belligerent and noisy as can be, but it’s just how you live in Life Death and Taxonomy.

“…And today we’re talking about a dastardly death–hunter, but more on that later.”

The African savannah is a place where many fall to powerful predators and environmental challenges. While the dangers are many, the continent has an undertaker ready to go to work. The Marabou stork is a sinister looking bird that wears a black cloak of wings. Where disaster strikes it is soon to follow. In nature, a bust can be a boon if you know how to make the most of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about an animal whose official name violated the order force rule of grammar and I hate that. But more on that later.”

The rivers in China are home to one of the largest salamanders—nay, one of the largest amphibians—in the world. Blending in with the rocks that line the riverbeds, the Chinese Giant Salamander spends its entire life beneath the rushing waters. This long-lived wriggle monster can breathe, see, and even heal itself using nothing but its unique skin. It just goes to show that skincare can sometimes be a matter of Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

“…and today we’re talking about a bird that sings a song which is soft but it’s clear, as if maybe someone could hear. But more on that later.”

Sewing is a human tradition that is as old as the shame of Adam and Eve. What started as a way to protect yourself from the elements and embarrassment has become a cultural touchstone all over the world. But human textiles and tapestries aren’t the only examples of sewing in nature. A tiny tailor lives in tropical Asia, sewing its heart out for hearth and home. But perfecting a skill is a noble pursuit in Life, Death, and Taxonomy.

Description of the Common Tailorbird

• Small, finch-shaped bird with a long kingfisher-esque beak – similar to a stubby sandpiper.
• Not a ton of sexual dimorphism here. Both males and females have pale green backs with white bellies and red tufts on their crowns. 
• They have wiry pink legs with a long green tail.
• They also have black patches under their necks that is more visible when they sing. But these are actually black patches of bare skin rather than a tuft of feathers.

Measure Up

Welcome to the beloved Measure Up segment. The official listener’s favorite part of the show! The part of the show when we present the animal’s size and dimension in relatable terms through a quiz that’s fun for the whole family. It’s also the part of the show that’s introduced by you when you send in audio of yourself saying, singing, or chittering the words Measure Up into ldtaxonomy at Gmail dot com. We do have a measure up intro from Melissa.

Length 

• 10 to 14 centimeters (3.9 to 5.5 in)
• How many tailorbirds go into the length of the t-shirt made by Plastindia Foundation in 2018?
• Hint: The t-shirt was made from 200,000 plastic bottles and features a green and white striped pattern.
• 693 birds. The shirt was 96.86 m (317.78 ft) long.

Weight

• 6 to 10 grams (0.21 to 0.35 oz)
• How many tailorbirds go into the weight of Fantasy by Gail Be, the world’s largest beaded wedding dress.
• Hint: I discovered this dress looking for heavy fabrics because of the tailoring/ sewing theme. Ironically, this dress has no thread at all. It’s all beads. The dress’s train is more than 20 feet long. The dress has more than seven miles of beading wire and more than a million beads.
• 18,285.7 tailorbirds. The dress is more than 400 lbs.

Fast Facts about the Common Tailorbird

• Range: They live all over the place in south and southeast Asia including India, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka all the way to China and into Indonesia.
• Diet: They eat a variety of bugs and beetles but they also enjoy fruit and nectar from flowers.
• Behavior: After breeding, the female will lay a clutch of about 3 eggs that will take a fortnight to hatch and another fortnight for the chicks to fledge
  • Tailorbirds are easy targets for the cuckoo bird’s brood parasitism

Major Fact: Sewing, Soaring, and Snoring

Common tailorbirds actually sew. Like for real. While they are actual seamstresses, they aren’t actually tailors, since they aren’t out there making tiny suits and dresses. 

Instead, the sew for nesting purposes. 

First, the female will find a suitable leaf for nesting. The leaf has to be large and fresh, able to bend without breaking. She’ll use her feet to wrap the leaf around her to test its size.

When she finds a good candidate, she’ll use her slender beak to puncture holes around the edge of the leaf. The holes are so small that they don’t damage the leaf or cause it to brown. 

Next, she’ll find fine fibers to fill the fissures. They’ll use spider silk, cotton fibers, caterpillar cocoons, and lint as thread. Thread joins holes together. The tailorbird isn’t tying knots, but the course threads grip the elastic, supple leaves without coming undone. 

Nests also include a roof that provides shade and rain protection. 

In some cases, nests are made from a one, large leaf that is sewn to itself. But if she can’t find a large enough leaf, she’ll sew several together. 

Ending: So eat a delicious beetle, don’t forget to add a light drizzle of nectar, and stitch yourself a house like the tailorbird here in LDT.